Remain with me

Wow what a day today! Today was the rescheduled speaker for the Hope Womens Group ( Moms Bible Study Group) I feel like I havent seen my MOTs ladies in forever ( probably bc i havent with busy photo session and the holidays) But i loved how we all got caught back up sitting at our table and it made me feel super special that a few of the ladies even said they were worried about me ( due to my recent blog rambles) It sure is nice to know you have friends out there :) any how our speaker was Angela Thomas and we will be reading her book " Tender Mercy-For a Mothers Soul" this semester.I hadnt heard much about her other than she was coming but wow did she rock my world. her speaking was just amazing. I think every woman who has come to speak to us has been amazing in their own right but Angela it seemed was just speak to me. She didnt sugar coat things she told it how it was and she showed ways to incorporate God into my daily life that I was capable of.
On top of her amazing ability to speak its as if God had brought me to Hope this morning for so much more than I even knew. As Angela spoke about we all get empty spiritually. Some arent empty for long and others have cotton mouth for a while. Im not really sure where I fit in. I know Im not where I need to be ( do we ever think we are) but i know I want to try. I know that with trying I often feel as if I gave up and couldnt really tell you when. I have a womens devotional Bible that I once read religiously every night, can I tell you the last time I picked it up....no! I use to pray every night and every morning, does this still happen? Sometimes but not always. I can feel myself sinking and I dont like it. I think a lot of it has to do with situations that are arising in my life that I feel that I have no control of ( i know this is the time i need God most I just seem to not be reaching out) Well enough with the depressing stuff. Before I head Angela speak today I knew i was reaching my breaking point. To be honest i wanted to stay in bed opposed to heading to kick off I guess i had been gone so long i didnt figure one more day would hurt but Will had MDO anyways and I had told a friend i would shoot pics so luckily the dont skip out on people part of me led me on my way to hope :) Just this morning I read my devoitional from Jesus Callin, my mother in law gave me this book for Christmas and i will admit I had only read two days up until today. But todays passage caught my attention ( as I am sure evey day to come will)
The page read
" Let me prepare you for the day that stretches out before you. I know exactly what this day will contain, wheras you only have vague ideas about it. You would like to see a map, showing all the twists and turnsof your journey. You'd feel more prepared if you could somehow visulaize what is on the road ahead. However ther is a better way to be prepared for whatever you will encounter today : Spend Quality time with ME. I will not show you what is on the road ahead, but I will thoroughly equip you for the journey. My living Presence is your Companioneach step of the way. Stay in continual communication with Me, whispering My Name whenever you need to redirect your thoughts. Thus, you can walk through this day with your focus on Me. My abiding Presence is the best road map available. "

The Bible verse to follow was Exodus 33:14 & John 15: 4-7
the later verse really stuck with me and as I prayed this morning I simply asked God to remain with me and open my heart to him, to see him in everything I did today and to just make more time for him in my everyday life. I have read blogs where they say to simply pray for God to oversee your every step and to help you find his will and this is where i thought I would start.....little did I know he would take me exactly where I needed to go.

So back to Hope and Angela. I was at the Women Ministry kick off cisiting with friend and listening to everyone speak when they finally introduced Angela. She stepped up to the microphone and began to speak. From the very beginning I hung on every word, this was a women who could relate to ways I have often felt. she ahd experienced things in her life that I too has witnessed or been a part of. It seemed like the perfect way to dive back in and get my glass half full ( not half empty) Well wouldnt you know the longer she spoke she continued to speak to me. She decided to discuss a Bible verse with us all and the importance of it. You wanna know a secret...shhhhh...it was John 15:1-11. Wait a minute didnt I just read and pray about this this very morning. I sure did! She emphasized the word REMAIN as well and it just hit home to me that Jesus was talking to me and personally telling me to REMAIN with him, even when i feel like he isnt right by my side he is and that I can do all things through him! REMAIN with him and study his word REMAIN in my moms group with the lovely women who help me be the person I want to be, REMAIN calm and know that GOD is alway near. REMAIN sane when Will has me at my wits end and last REMAIN with GOD even when I feel like my world is upside down. I cannot express how much i took from todays message. My heart is still full of it now. It spoke such powerful things to me that I once again tried to take matter into my own hands with some issues I have been facing within my family. The problem is still not fixed, nor do I think it will be for quite some time but where I had once felt like there was no use in caring my spirit was renewed to REMAIN with that person and to try and try again no matter what.
Ok so I know I have been babbling for days so for the whole 2 of you ( if that ) that are still reading I will end on this even when you think there is no extra time for GOd in your day to day life just ask in your prayers for him to show you where you can add him in and by golly he WILL! Im looking forward to tomm devotional and right now for bedtime, i hit up the gym for 45 min today but then totally ate bad so Im still a work in progress :)